“Big Paper”
I have a theory …
As an avid conspiracy theorist (actually, I prefer the term “conspiracy factualist”), the recycling kerfuffle the other day logically led me to believe that our cleaning people are under the control of “Big Paper.” It all makes sense. With the summer picnicking season nigh upon us, demand for quality paper products is on the rise, which we all know “drives up” the price of crude paper on the world market. (Of course, what this really means is that price-gouging paper fat cats seize on the opportunity to raise the price of napkins to ridiculous levels.)
How do you fight these price increases? Increase the supply, of course.
What’s one way to do that? Lots of recycling.
How do reduce the supply of crude paper and keep paper prices high? Supress recycling, of course!
It all fits. Who better to draw into their vast conspiracy than poor Eastern European (potentially “undocumented”?) immigrants? Eager to earn a meager living, they don’t speak the language and are easily influenced with the promise of trinkets and baubles. The perfect foils. Thank goodness Amie uncovered the nefarious scheme and blew the proverbial whistle (via e-mail)!
But I fear it hasn’t stopped there, my friends. You’ll recall that among the most vocal critics of the recycling snafu was one Kari Schulz. “This thing with the cleaners is completely unacceptable!” [emphasis added] she raged. And what happened? POOF! By the end of the day she was gone, whisked away in an unmarked van (or so I presume) to God knows where. All we can do now is pray she does not wind up in the hands of James Watt*. More likely, she will be set loose on a remote Wyoming ranch to be hunted down by Dick Cheney and his merry band of Big Paper cronies (Big Paper and Big Oil often vacation together).
And yes, that means that here at GS it goes to the very top. How do we know what *really* goes on up there at The Highlands, anyway? “Manhunts” are real, folks. I saw it on Giligan’s Island!
So … I don’t know about you, but I’m going to stop recycling immediately. Screw the environment — I want to live!!!
*Former Secretary of the Interior under Ronald Reagan and notorious tree hater. Unnamed sources have informed me he now runs a secret Abu Ghraib-style detainment camp for recycling sympathizers.
Bowling!
First bowling date:
Next Wednesday, May 3rd at Landmark Lanes, 7PM
…and then every other Wed. after that, unless a different night is better for more people.
2220 NORTH FARWELL AVENUE
NEAR THE CORNER OF FARWELL AND NORTH AVENUE
(414) 278-8770
http://www.landmark-lanes.com/bowling.htm
Shoes are $2 and it’s $3 per game (plus tax)
I’d like to try for three games, but you don’t have to stay that long.
Remember, this is just for fun, you don’t have to commit to anything.
Energy Saver
A lot of talk about recycling and whatnot going around the office. Since we are apparently very much a Earth friendly company, I’d suggest everyone take the time to set up their energy savers on their computers. I notice a lot of Macs that stay on all night long. That electricity killing the planet, man! Sleep mode on newer computers is mostly fool proof. They use hardly any electricity and wake up very quickly. It’s like turning your computer off without actually shutting it down. Give it a whirl. If not for your planet, then for GS’s electric bill.
Loworks.org
Fonts, explorable/scalable Flash navigation, parallax effects, and … a unique illustration style.
Eaglecam!
Tracking the construction of some building is so passe when you can watch a live feed of bald eagles nesting.
Sure, they don’t move around much. But it’s bald eagles nesting!
Getting Real – A new book from 37signals
For those who are interested, here’s the full version of 37signals latest book – Getting Real – which documents “the smarter, faster, and easier way to build a web app”.